The Pretty but Fleshy

Past my prime, and passing my time, I got to know this girl PC many months ago on the net. Lets get to know our subject better. She was an only child born to two very quarellsome parents and studying biotechnology in a certain institution. I will never forget the first time we chatted, she told me she was "pretty but fleshy". That catapulted my imagination to wild heights. How can a person be fleshy yet pretty?

So like all normal androgenic beings, I requested a digital image of her to be sent straight away through my blisteringly fast broadband connection. To my utmost disappointment, and almost predictably, she didn't have any picture of her in digital form. It would be hard to verify such claim; for in this day and age, especially for a "pretty" girl who already had 4 ex-boyfriends, I found that unpalatable truth.

I swallowed down my pride and persisted my online relationship with her. We chatted nearly every night for about a week after our initial encounter and we were really happy with the correspondence. Thus, once I realised our understanding couldn't get better just chatting on the net, I popped that all-important question.

"U wanna meet up?"

"Sure."

"How abt this Sun?"

"Sure."

Sunday came, and I was in such great mood. At last my imagination and my crazy night dreams could be laid to rest. But when she messaged me to tell she could not make the date, I was utterly shattered. Up till today, since that very Sunday, after more than 3 months, I still have not successfully gotten P out in the open and decoded that mysterious statement of "pretty, but fleshy".

The debate now is whether despite the difficulty of setting up baits, I should still carry on with this online relationship and hope that one day P will be free and come out to see me. Was "pretty" an overstatement that she doesn't want me to find out? And was "fleshy", in similar fashion, an understatement? Most of the people I surveyed in school were all in agreement with the above 2 statements. And somehow, that was the feeling I got too!

This is a tantalising decision. Stopping now will mean lost time doing work that never bore fruit; continuing will mean getting no results any time in the near future. Even if I do succeed in getting her out, do I want to be seen in public with her if she were fat and ugly? Too many doubts to consider and too many risks to take. The stand now is probably to just wait for her to present a bait to me. And I will definitely take it, since I have always appreciated the efforts of my peers. Some advice from the floor please.

The Reason

We entered the room through the yellow door - all 6 of us - S, WJ, SM, JT, ML and me. It was enclosed by 4 blue walls with tiny uniform holes; at the sides were large black cubic amplifiers that looked like parts of cut-up coffin; the two terraced keyboards laid next to the door; in the middle, the acoustic drumset stood proudly; a slender mirror stared blankly into us.

We were there to sing and rehearse for our big day 2 weeks later. A mini performance to entertain our juniors, and to stun our professors and dean. They will enjoy the wonders of modern technology and music. How inanimate objects such as the guitar and the drum can produce sound never imaginable by our dinosaur-hunting ancestors. Worse still, we were not a terrifically talented bunch of musicians. We were just made up of a few people who can read "tabs" and sing in tune. How difficult can that be?

JT started first. She sang like her sister. The pronounciation, the little swagger that can be regarded as a stylish dancing movement, those side staring eyes, the sharp little chin - all coincide spookily with her famous sister.

It dawned upon me that siblings do have similarities. If so, what are the similarities I have with my brother? I have difficulty naming one. He certainly does not sing like me. His personality lags far away from mine. We don't even speak the same way. Some say we look like brothers - perhaps it is the high-riding hairline that makes our foreheads so tall.

Whatever. Am I trying to find reasons for my existence? Shouldn't all people be unique and follow their own hearts and pathways? I have always strived to be different from others, including my brother. But maybe we are all the same in one way or another - we deny them.

When my turn came, I sang with gusto. The Reason was a great song. My throat was trembling with fragility. I must take care, or the big day might just be another normal day for me.