The Possession

My friend EW was a nice man, who had had 2 previous girlfriends before the present one. The first was not detailed in the history that he had given me and so shall remain forever anonymous. The second was the girl of any guy's dream.

"I was going down the escalator one day, and I found this sweet lady staring at me as she came up the other escalator. I felt strange and went all the way up just to confront her... ..."

It was a union that sounded like a scene from the romantic movies of our time. I had thought it was rather rare to meet your prospective girlfriend on a staring incident like that. From complete strangers who walked past each other to lovers who held hands and strolled in the park as if the whole park was made for him and her - remarkable to an extent that was magical. Moreover, this girl had enough calibre to be a beauty queen - she was not just an apple in an apple tree; she was a flower in a field of grass.

The good times of the second relationship ended with fond memories and with pictures worth a thousand words and a million "I love you"s. Then stormed in the third girlfriend - nothing too special about her, except that she was absolutely devoted and commanding. She extended an "iron fist" over EW despite having only a short and stubby figure. Every move was tirelessly monitored by this female eagle.

It wasn't long before the cat was let out of the bag. Girlfriend III rampaged his belongings and discovered the poorly hidden photos of his past - a past he had treasured and often thought about; a past of him and his beauty queen ex-girlfriend. Girlfriend III was furious beyond words. She gave EW no time to react as she vehemently tore up the precious photos. There was no way to retrieve those images. They were in pieces and were thrown out of the window to produce a shower of black snow. Just as black snow will appear once and never appear again, so the memories of girlfriend II will expire as the ravage of time slowly erases the last bits of sweetness...

A by-stander would find girlfriend III's outburst of jealousy most ungracious. She had invaded the privacy of EW, and had caused him emotional hurt by heartlessly crushing the memory of a very substantial part of his life. Afterall, EW may not have become the man that he was today without having met girlfriend II. Girlfriend III may not have become girlfriend III. The future is akin to milk; and the past events are akin to a cup; the milk takes the shape of the cup. The future is always the result of the events that lead to it.

But further evaluation will justify the actions of girlfriend III. She was in fact working on the principle of Barter trade - an item of certain value must be exchanged for an item of similar value. In this case, she had given EW her complete love and trust. Her attention and her thoughts of intimacy were exclusively focused on EW. To her, it was inconceivable to have to "share" EW's attention with another girl. It was unfair trading! Then, one can understand that the emotional hurt, as already mentioned, had been inflicted to a greater degree on the suffering girlfriend.

In a relationship, one partner becomes the possession of the other. Such an idea may suggest a general loss of freedom - the freedom of speech; the freedom of thought; as well as the freedom of action. But this tempting thought is to be refrained; because it is in teamwork that men can set out to achieve bigger things unattainable by singular effort. The best team would be made up of members with one mind, one body and one goal. A perfect couple - of one mind, one body and one goal - would, hence, be the perfect team. It would be ruinous if this mind were contaminated by thoughts that do not contribute to the ultimate goal; for it is the mind that guides the body to the goal.

Indeed, the past may have made EW. But the possession of the past will only weaken the possession of the present, and jeopardise the possession of the future.