The Beginning of the Blessing Phase

As one of my readers put it: "Immerse in the bliss and let the romantic notion of love wash over you". How fitting of a poet he is and how correct he is. I bless him for making this the new motto of my brand new life!

Indeed, The One That Got So Near has suddenly become The One. The feeling of having someone else in your life is a little like holding a bow and an arrow for the first time in your life and hitting the bull's eye on the first try. It is a mixed sense of feeling extremely lucky and thinking that you do not deserve it.

She was just a stranger 2 months ago. And now, you have become the holder of her hands and the listener of her secrets. She has become the sole owner of your heart and the top fan of your talents. The trust that has developed has grown into the size of a huge inflated balloon the has an infinite elastic quality.

Then you slap yourself a few times in the day to make sure all is not just a dream. Perhaps all might turn sour in a moment; like the apple that got cut and got brown. But then again, the apple that turns brown is still sweet when you bite it and the bitter gourd that tastes awful is still full of nutrients.

I guess a balance exists. Where there is sun, there are shadows; where there is warmth, there are winds. So, love must be balanced by hatred? Otherwise how can love exist on it's own? Maybe love is not a singular entity. It is a composite of many things into one. It is made up of 2 persons and the stuff we learn in college - chemistry, physical yearning, and biological exchanges. Love is the genesis of another circle; and for every circle that gets drawn, the artist would hope to reach the exact point where he started when he began drawing so that the love will cycle everlastingly.

We all hope. We all wish. Some wishes come true; some don't. But those that do, make your life exceedingly sweet. I am lucky my wish to find love has been granted; but I hope that the friends I make all my life are still my friends. And that would really be the beginning of the blessing phase.

The One That Got So Near

JS and I were at Macdonald's and it was already 10pm. Still we were fresh from the japanese restaurant and I was feeling a little guilty I made Mr D pay for the most expensive meal I had since the time I was a rich spoilt little child. I guess this could be my last con job - in fact, it could have been the first!

But the main issue was not this. It was how JS responded to my questions.

"So, how do you tell if a guy was interested in a girl?"

Obviously, she knew the answer, but she was acting coy and shrugged her shoulders, saying she was not too sure.

"So what if I tell you I am interested in you?"

This gave back the same coy response.

When I walked her back to the void deck and I asked her those questions again, and this time getting the same response. I was not too pleased. She wanted the statement to be so clear it was unmistakable. There was nothing wrong with being absolutely sure. But after 7 meetings and many a wonderful conversation later, a crystal clear statement from me becomes rather redundant. It was apparent that I like her - I liked her so much as to be thinking about her even when I slept. I have not gone out with another girl since I knew her. I have never gone out with my best friend for more than 6 times in 6 weeks.

I am not sure how to proceed now. Perhaps I should just give up and make my life regain it's solo peacefulness. I want better indication that this girl likes me. Maybe she might become my nearest encounter yet. So near to being a couple, yet so far to holding hands. How regretful.