The 400 Dollars Voucher from the Herbal Jelly Shop

The Tortoise Herbal Jelly was worth every cent of it. Made from more than 20 herbs, not to mention the sacred tortoise shell, it is an elixir of great health. We paid 50 bucks per bowl for this black bitter jelly that needed honey syrup to appreciate it's potent aroma. Delicious - absolutely delicious. I could feel my sore, dry throat rejuvenating to it's original grandeur.

On the table was a tiny advertisement:

"New promotion! Buy a voucher for $400 and use it to get $500 dollars worth of goods. Plus you will get 2 free take-away Tortoise Herbal Jelly!"

Excellent. This was an enticing idea. $100 more to spend just because I buy the voucher? I must get it. I mean it seemed at that moment I SHOULD get. What is more satisfying than getting a discounted supply of elixirs? The lady came by and almost vehemently promoted the voucher to us. I listened to this vision of having herbal jelly every morning when I wake up for the next couple of weeks. Yes! Youth and great health, at a lower price.

As the lady walked off, I digged into my wallet and found only a one hundred dollar note. Just enough for herbal jelly for the 2 of us. It dawned upon me I was almost the victim of a well plotted advertising scam. Their main aim was always to earn more money; my main concern was always to use less money. And this scam nearly suceeded on me. I thought I would be saving money by getting the voucher. But once I thought about it again, I was in fact going to be spending more! Instead of giving the creator of this wonderful Tortoise Herbal Jelly just $100, I was now contemplating giving him $400!

Ridiculous. It must be an elixir of stupidity as well. I was not going to eat more of it.

I paid for my two bowls of jelly and walked out of the shop.

The Sultry

At Hard Rock Cafe, the 6 of us gathered around our $4.20 refillable drinks and chatted. S asked the waitress why the place was so quiet, and she replied, "The crowd comes on Fridays and Sundays."

So on this dismal and quiet Saturday evening, we talked about "Sultry".

There was this year 2 girl who always gave passers-by the "sultry" look. This, to KZ and S, was a strong bout of attractive energy no self-proclaimed woman-chaser can ignore. I was not sure what exactly they mean by "sultry" but the dictionary said it stood for "expressing or arousing desire".

If that were so, I would love to meet "Sultry" too.

Henceforth I must warn everyone of the trickery presented by ladies very similar to "Sultry". They are young, beautiful and seemingly weak and dependent. Just like the hungry cat that purrs at you meekly, "Sultry" gives you that undeniable thrust of seduction from her eyes that stifles you in this delusion that perhaps she loves you. The cat wants food; "Sultry" wants your tutelage. She wants you to impart to her your vast knowledge and experience. If you are her senior or someone with superior brain activity, she wants you. That's all. She will abandon you after you have reached your due-date.

Yes, she might go out with you every once so often if you are some amazing hunk with handsome good looks. But once she gets bored, she will look for another oasis to plant a new seed of desire. And when that oasis dries up, she will seek for a greener pasture.

The waitresses at the cafe were pretty. But unlike "Sultry" they were not looking at me. I felt glad. Because I could admire their youthful curves without worrying when I would end up cuddled and decomposed in their spider webs. For these waitresses, I would welcome their advances any time, any day.

Girls like "Sultry" are a disgrace to Venus. One word of advice for budding young guys in search of love: Do not classify girls in a different category. Classify them under Homo Sapiens. We are the same.

The Caller Who Invaded My Space

The voice that came over the phone encompassed the vigour of a 18 year old girl I got to know over the net. At 4.45pm in the afternoon, my mind was pondering over the possibility of going out for a jog later in the evening. But this surprise caller interrupted my line of thoughts completely.

"Hi, I am P here. Are you G? I have your name in my phonebook but I don't know why I know you. May I find out how I got to know you? ... ... Oh is it? By the way I am promoting this new membership that costs $358 ... May I know what cuisine you like? ... If you bring one person to the restaurant you will get a 50% discount ... ... "

Excellent. At this point I wanted to press the red button on my phone. Was she hoping to get some sales out of me? I stayed in the conversation for a while longer. Soon, after she found out I wasn't interested in the membership, she began asking me about other stuff. I felt the minutes ticking away and I felt I must stop or I would hardly have any more free minutes left by the end of the month.

"Hey I need to call one of my friends. He messaged me."

"Ok. I will call you later."

I didn't pick up her call later. Or should I say I didn't pick up her calls. She called 4 times. Certainly she knew by this time I was far from being a potential customer. But I guess she felt I was a potential mate. I apologised to her.

At 915pm she called again, asking me to call her. She felt bored on the train. So I obliged. And we talked and we talked.

Was this all correct? It didn't seem right to me. A girl calling me and wanting to talk to me for 2 very different reasons in a day. Or could there only be one reason? I shall find out in the days to come.

The Beer Drinking Place at Boat Quay

KZ got A to come to that beer drinking place we had been occupying since 8pm. The French Open was roaring away on the crystal clear plasma TV. Very relaxing, very interesting. People drowned themselves in the flights of alcoholic ascent, while I got spiced up by the mocktail Virgin Mary.

True, A was a cute one indeed. So delicate in her black blouse and seemingly long skirt. I adore her eyes. I adore her smile. What chemistry at the University had done to her I knew not. I knew that her day of birth comes in 2 days time, and I am not going to be the man holding her hands and whispering, "Dear, how glad I am your mum gave birth to you, my lovely Angel."

Please give KZ a bed, for he was dreamily choking himself in the strawberry beer. He needed guidance. He needed a real woman in his life. But this need was false. Unselfish as we were, we needed no partners in life. We were complete - with flaws but without mistakes. We were perfect when evaluated from Providence's point of view. Let KZ not be manipulated by Cupid's arrows too many a time. No, he will run out of arrows soon.