The Buddy Phenomenon

My subject this time revolves around JN again. She is a fascinating character to analyse because she is a very typical girl - one who seeks love, but in a fashion frowned upon by many of the opposite sex, and perhaps even of the same.

As previously mentioned, JN has many suitors. And as would be expected, most of them have already verbally expressed their utmost love for her. Never wanting to disapoint any of them, she would always come out with the same story:

"You love me? But I don't love you in the same way as you love me. Why not we just be friends? Good friends? Best friends? You can be my BUDDY..."

At this point in time the guy will pounce on any chance to continue their relationship with their muse.

"Who cares if she doesn't take me in now? She will some day. As long as I hang around, she might eventually see something good in me and she will be mine!"

Such wishful thinking. How many more guys must fall into this self-deluding trap? It pains me to see those innocent simple-minded guys believe so much in themselves, and in the end, after 2 years or so, they realise they have wasted their youth waiting for a girl, who in the first place, never had any plans to go beyond just being friends, or BUDDIES.

Is JN at fault for leading these guys on and into the quicksand? Many wouldn't think so. Those guys are stupid. They are naive.

Buddies really have 2 functions. First, they can be kept as "backups" in case one day JN can't find any more dates, she would just select the best BUDDY and marry him. Second, they provide an avenue where new friends can be made - more importantly, more guy friends and more BUDDIES can be enslaved.

Personally, I think even if JN is not morally dysfunctional, she will reap the seeds she sows. Think of this scenario where she selects the best BUDDY of them all. To qualify as a BUDDY, you need to have perseverence and you need to swallow your pride deep down. And such guys usually aren't too "macho". So in the end, a procrastinating JN will just be left with the sissy guys. Maybe that is what JN wants. Not too bad anyway - sensitive guys are hard to find, but sensitive and sissy? JN might as well go to a gay club.

The Single Normal-looking Girl

Today we would be meeting for a second time. Not something that I'd anticipated the first time I saw her. There was nothing special about this girl. JN was normal-looking - someone you wouldn't mind having as your girlfriend, but strangely, at the same time, someone you wouldn't go great lengths to attract attention.

I was surprised when another normal-looking guy expressed a certain vague interest about her. He was laborious at his effort of making this second outing a success. So almost one day after our first meeting with JN, L was already making contact with her and making her commit to another day of gathering with the same old guys.

The three of us, much like the three stooges anticipating the same old lover, waited at Mac's. Yes indeed, that day the place was crowded. And the opening of Spiderman 2 did not make it any more bearable. I sat there, thinking why my life had become entangled with these guys. Why are we spending time with a girl who was neither pretty nor excessively rich? What value would this event add to our already dwindling social life?

I don't understand. Because we were capable of better dates. L must be rather strickened with affection to sustain the entire process of getting this very "booked" girl out. As you might already have guessed, this normal-looking girl has a long line of dates waiting for her everyday! What was wrong? Were those guys so hard up they just had to dive into the sea to catch a fish? And grab anything that came to their hands before all oxygen runs out?

Putting myself in such a position makes me feel inferior in terms of maturity of thought.

After the movie, we went opposite to have a cup of coffee each. We chatted aimlessly as I had expected. In fact, I wasn't my usual bubbly self for fear that I might look too happy in the presence of JN. I didn't want JN to think we were single and desperate.

We should all have a little self-respect for ourselves. When at the other end of the road, you can't find the sun rising from the horizon, don't try to imagine the sky brightening; because that will really make the darkness appear more dark.